Don’t you hate it when vague memes and positivity pundits throw slogans like “Be yourself” at you? What does it even mean? Everyone wants to be a swami of motivation and inspiration since the journey they endured brought them peace and happiness and thus summarize it with reductive sayings like “Be yourself”.

Not gonna lie, I am also completely sailing that boat. So here I am, trying to unlock my true inner being, recognize my real passions, being not-basic and thus inevitably falling into hipster territory by doing so. The term ‘hipster’ has come a long ways since it’s inception and it has evolved into a full blown aesthetic; ripe for commoditization.

The inexplicable truth is, as a person in the creative field, my interests and aesthetics are invariably align with “hipster”. So I do a double take at everything I purchase in order to make sure that it’s hipster but not TOO hipster. Like an ironic hipster. But then in true inception-like fashion, ironic-hipsters became the hipster thing to be.

When did being too hipster become something weirdly unforgivable? It’s disheartening when you make an attempt to showcase your individuality by owning things that really speak to you, pursue unusual interests and passions, make something “my thing” and have it all be for naught as someone drops a casual “Wow you’re so hipster” complinsult; essentially heaping in all the hardwork put towards being-not- mainstream-mainstream, into a sad, little cliche.

When did being too hipster become something weirdly unforgivable?

The futility of trying to prove how much of a special snowflake I am is emotionally exhausting. To every meme that tells you how unique you are, there are equal amounts of memes lumping you into that dreaded “hipster” (and the often afflicted “millenial”) territory.

So to all of that, I say.. forget all that angst and annoyance. Who needs all that noise in your life; telling you what is and isn’t kosher, especially in regards to discrediting your desire to be different. Just pretend that you are that special snowflake because no one else will give you the gratification of saying it to your face. Wear what you wear, like what you like.

Oh, you saw the jacket I was wearing at Hot Topic? Cool brah but did the model look as good as I do in this bangin’ jacket?

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Awesome illustration by Charlit Floriano

I think it’s irresponsible to ask or to tell people to reconsider their entire sense of self and suddenly start shitting out rainbows of positive optimism. At many junctures in my life, I’ve been told that I’m a “debbie downer”, that I’m too “critical” or “negative”. Fortunately, I don’t let haters get me down lol

I’m not someone you would call a “cheerful person” nor am I a mindless idealist. I hate to consider myself naive, even though I am in many aspects. I like to think I am “pragmatic” and “careful” and I’ve come to realize that a lot of it is simply based on my upbringing. This mindset has benefitted me enormously as it has helped me overcome much sadness and grief. It also helped me introspectively learn from my experiences, but I also realize that the people around me may or may not view my version of “pragmatism” with favourable light.

In comparison to some of my most beloved people, who radiate positive vibes, I’m often the grounding force, which can often come across as cynical, doubtful or untrusting.

It has taken me a long time to tell myself that there is nothing wrong with this. I’ve developed certain habits and ideas based on my experiences and to deny myself this, is a disservice to myself. However, I could not excuse myself for using this mentality as a way to get out of changing my ideas about life and living in a warped sense of fear. I found it too claustrophobic to be chained by my own ideas of what was good and bad. I had to take what I had and turn it into something that I could work with. I realized that no one could liberate me but myself.

In comparison to some of my most beloved people, who radiate positive vibes, it is far easier for me to be the grounding force that can often come across as cynical, doubtful or untrusting.

I’m still working on understanding how I can harness doubt, cynicism and angst with mindfulness instead of berating myself for not being a unicorn. I have to allow myself to feel miserable and then separate myself from the situation somehow to be able to understand and see that the thing/event/person on the other end of my hate also might feel the same way about me or has no clue at all. I have to remind myself that the ‘wrongdoer’ probably didn’t wake up that morning thinking that they’d make some chump miserable. I have been working it out of my system, complaining and whining the whole way but at the same time, struggling to keep empathy and understanding so that my sense of self or reality did not get distorted in the process.

_{One day, this will be me}

I like to think that I’ve taken my pragmatism and made it a little more palatable, more relatable and more empathetic instead of being this “realist” with unchangeable ideals, living in fear.

It has been a couple of years since I’ve started doing this and only now it seems my “pragmatism” yields better results other than “Wow, you bring me down” or “Why are you so cynical?”. Not just for myself, but for the people that I love, I like to think that I’ve taken my pragmatism and made it a little more palatable, more relatable and more empathetic instead of being this “realist” with unchangeable ideals, living in fear.

credit: animated gif illustrated and animated by Justyna Babinska